toast

2012

In late 2009, after leaving my band, White Lightning, I slowly fell off the face of the Earth, as far as my local Portland metal scene was concerned. I surfaced from time to time, of course, because I didn't want to completely ghost on my friends, but I did a lot of solitary soul-seeking. I began exploring different musical avenues from the mostly power metal direction I'd gone in the aughts; I was listening to Marillion and Duke-era Genesis at this point, and exploring some of the other classic prog rock mainstays, like King Crimson, Yes, and later on Jethro Tull, too.
As such, the Toast EP (a reference to my first stage name) is where I first started trying to cross the line between straight-up power metal and prog rock. I borrowed some synth sounds from the Golden Age of Progressive Rock (sort of), put a little rhythmic complexity in "While You're Not Reading My Mind," and even threw some crunchy harmonies in "Sea Monkeys from R'lyeh," the one send-up to my Toast years. "Ellie" is kind of a counterpoint to the other four tracks, and probably the only song I've ever written that has a little twang to it.

The cover art is my first attempt at working with markers. I couldn’t afford a whole set of Prismacolors, as the Aaron Brothers’ Art & Framing I worked for payed peanuts (I later found a nice set on clearance, though, and got my employee discount off of that, if I remember), but I kept the design simple and just bought a black, blue, and fuschia. The veins in the eyes were done with a Verithin red pencil. Keeping it that simple made the whole thing pretty easy, and the end result, inspired by a t-shirt from Gamma Ray’s 1992 Japan tour (for which I was outbid on ebay, literally at the last second, way back when… I’m still sore about that, because it’s the best Gamma Ray t-shirt I’ve ever seen), is something I’m still proud of.

 
 

  • I met a traveller from an antique land
    Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
    Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
    Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
    And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
    Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
    Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
    The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
    And on the pedestal these words appear:
    "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
    Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
    Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
    Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
    The lone and level sands stretch far away.

    -Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822)

  • There's a lot of people out there
    And they're out to get me
    I can tell it by the way that
    They're not looking at me
    Something big's a-brewing in their
    Heads-- if I could just read
    Their minds, like they read mine
    (But, then,) that would be too easy

    Hello, my friend
    Are you my friend?
    Is this the end?
    Gotta find a way to get
    Away, some way, but anyway...

    I can see how it'll be when
    They all move to get me
    Funny thing, how in my mind's eye
    They all look just like me
    That just proves it even further
    Everybody can read
    My mind, and they'd say what I'd say
    If I criticized me

  • Another day has come and gone
    Nothing changes; nothing's done
    I sit down, and I look around
    My life, my friends: where have they gone?
    The turning point is here
    Its coming bears the taint of fear
    And it feels like my magnum opus
    Arrived too soon, then disappeared

    Same thing every day: I
    Spend the lighter hours awake
    Until I reach the end
    And then go back to sleep
    Nose right to the grindstone
    For another buck to take home
    To this solitary
    Company I keep

    So I sit inside my shell
    And survey starved childhood dreams
    There surely must be something more for me

    I survey it all from these shadowlands
    Watching life go by beyond my reach
    All alone, I walk here, with my heart in my hands
    Losing my hold on reality

    There is a door before me
    Leading to where I can be free
    And where I can join
    Reality, at last
    The exit from these shadowlands
    Is locked, but the key is in
    My hand; fear is all
    That says that I can't pass

  • Ellie, as the sun awakes
    It makes accusations
    Of foolishness that
    It would not allow
    You see, I'm so enraptured by your ways
    That your great red flag parade
    Remains well-hidden in a safe place
    That I can't think about

    Ellie, your presence flows through
    My veins, my reality
    The world around me
    Turns to vivid shades
    I can't think or stick to plans
    Responsibility be damned
    'Till truth raises its threatening hand
    As you fade away

    The streetlights cast a sickly glow
    Through my bedroom window
    My consciousness held captive
    By my fulfilled fears
    There is no comfort in the words
    You say; the colors dulled and blurred
    By day echo your distance from
    Me, even when you're near

    By body, in rejection
    Of this double life
    Is filled with pain, with
    Wasting in the bones
    You turned so cruel so suddenly
    You froze, and then withdrew from me
    Ellie, you shattered and left me
    To pick the pieces up alone

  • I walked the world for ages
    Seeking out the wicked powers
    Audience I found none
    No permission to devour

    A meg'lomaniac maudlin
    I believed my time was through
    But then I heard sweet words in
    My head from my pal, Cthulhu

    I unburdened my soul as
    He took it in his hand
    About how I would conquer
    All, If I only had the chance
    So he led me down to meet
    Him in his world beneath the sea
    With the monkey he put on
    My back, great power belongs to me

    GUITAR!

    I will be ready for the
    Time when the roaches rise
    I'll have shoes on hands and feet
    To smite them, and their flies

    I've tasted the monkey's poison
    And I've drunk the chicken's blood
    I've not read Necronomicon
    But I've read The Iliad

    Blood there will be, plenty
    As I under-cook my steak
    The world is rare and ready
    It awaits me on a plate